Mud, Sweat and Beers: Glastonbury Festival 2011.

Everybody seemed to think it was hilarious that I had decided to brave the outdoors for three whole nights and go to Glastonbury this year.
Needless to say I was a little offended.
So imagine my smugness when I managed to do it - No broken bones, no drunken falls and no breaching of security by trying to hurl myself on to the Pyramid Stage to show Beyonce how it's really done. That doesn't mean it wasn't an eventful stay however.


After three and a half hours of fields, Stonehenge (massive disappointment by the way) and chatting to Scott Mills on Radio 1, we arrive. At possibly the furthest car park away from the site. But we're there.
We are assured countless times that our friend and her trusty boyf will be on hand to meet us at the car, and assist us in carrying our bags (which contained everything from temporary lip tattoos to dry shampoo - all the essentials obviously) to our camp site. After what felt like a few hours, we crack open the Pimms and sit on my car bonnet, watching the man and his two daughters dance around their car to our left in absolute horror (they were all clutching a Carlsberg and his children looked like they were about nine years old).
Eventually a figure appears in the distance, and we gulp our Pimms nervously. Where was the boyfriend? There was no way on earth we'd be able to carry all this crap without his help. So the three of us make our way, slowly, and not even surely, to the gate. After about an HOUR we find our spot. Tired, weak and rather muddy, we throw our things on the ground and it dawns on us that tents don't put themselves up. So we make friends with the people next to us and voila, our tent is up and we did nothing but giggle and stand around looking awkward.

The next few days was a blur. A muddy, noisy blur that went by far too quickly. Although I can't say I'll miss the portaloos (retch). Everything from becoming very well acquainted with your best friend in your car when needing the toilet, smoking with two lovely Liverpudlians who we lost in the maze that was Shangri La and sitting on a drunk but friendly stranger's shoulders in the crowd watching Tinie Tempah. Oh and a potentially broken ankle. After making our way to the front of the crowd for Beyonce on the last night, the friend only went and got stood on and barely made it back to the tent. Four hours, an X-Ray and a variety of new friends later we made it back to the car from the Medical Tent (I'll never forget some of the sights we witnessed in there - a man came in handcuffed and strapped to a bed, an entire cubicle was devoted to random people who had passed out and been found and literally peeled from the pavement, and I was told off for taking pictures of my friend and her fat ankle). So with no sleep, sore feet and a limping best friend we got back to the car and started the journey home. Listening to Beyonce's album the whole way back of course.

she's all mouth..!

I don't know about you but I'm getting a little bored of lipstick. And come to think of it, lip gloss and lip balm as well.
If you're fed up of unzipping your Body Shop make up bag and staring glumly at your Rimmel lipstick, here's something new for you to try. (Just avoid wearing them to lectures/job interviews/places where there are young children or the elderly as you might scare them).



Allow me to introduce you to Violent Lips, a dramatic twist on make-up that I'm sure I'll see on the likes of Ke$ha, Lady GaGa and Nicki Minaj very soon.

Violent Lips are temporary tattoos and they come in all different designs and colours. But here's the thing. Whilst some people will see these online and immediately start tweeting to all their followers about them, there are others that are just going to think there is some kind of highly-contagious mouth-related disease taking over the world. Personally, I love them and am trying to find out if they'll be coming to the UK anytime soon. Here are some of my faves:


'The Silver Glitteratti' - Coming Soon to the website.
Also available in Gold, Pink and Red.









'The Pink Leopard'










'The Pink Polka'
I LOVE THIS.










Each Lip Package contains 3 temporary lip tattoo applications. For a limited time Violent Lips are offering free shipping in the US and free shipping internationally with the purchase of three or more products (this won't be an issue for me).
Use promotional code VLMDS at the checkout to receive a 20% discount off your order.

www.violentlips.com

Happy Shopping! Mwah x

Iron Man vs. Edward Cullen

Given that my first exam is oh, I don't know, five days away? I figured instead of getting on with some much needed revision I would watch Iron Man, make countless cups of tea and try to figure out who I would like to marry more out of Robert Downey Junior in Iron Man or Robert Pattinson in Twilight. Here is what I've come up with, I can only pray I'll be this attentive when I start my revision. Tomorrow. Yes.

R-Pattz is SPARKLY when the sun is out. Like he actually glitters. I'm a sucker for pretty things.
He also has a tendency to kill people that try to hurt the love of his life. Given that in the wonderful place that is my imagination, that would be me, I'm pretty pleased with that. Its not every day your boyfriend proves his undying love for you by chasing a crazy ginger haired woman up a tree.
The whole bad boy thing is pretty hot. The surliness, the mysterious eyes, the way he looks when Jacob gets all up in his face. Phwoar.
The whole living forever part is alright too.
He has a nice car.
Bella is brunette and annoyingly whiney. I too have brown hair, and lets say I've had my whingey moments. He obviously likes that kind of thing.

HOWEVER.
Tony Stark is smart AND hot. In real life, he would probably have a much bigger nose and much smaller biceps.
He is a bit of a playaa but he never acts like that with Pepper Potts, which is really cute even if she does have a stupid name.
He has a suit that flies, talks to him, and shoots all the bad guys.
When I fail my exams next week, he will be clever and rich enough to look after me.
He has pretty cool parties at his house, unlike Edward Cullen who's vampire brother tries to eat his girlfriend when she gets a teeny tiny papercut.

I can't make this decision now, its too difficult.

For S.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.

- Mary Elizabeth Frye.

rabbit foood.

The diet is going well. So far, I've invested in about four tins of Slimfast powders, and they are sitting proudly above my washing machine. The chocolate one is actually quite nice, the strawberry - not so much. Apart from trying to measure exactly 250ml of skimmed-milk in an old plastic jug I found looking rather lonely at the back of one of our cupboards, and getting a little overexcited with a fork when trying to stir the mixture, it hasn't been too stressful. (Most of said mixture ended up on the floor/walls/my face).
Its quite a balanced relationship. All I have to commit to is drinking two of these delightful milkshakes a day, along with a six hundred calorie meal in the evenings. Yesterday I was naughty and had two caramel eggs (each at 195 calories) instead of a proper dinner but what you gonna do? This is a small side-effect of dieting I have noticed, and Glamour magazine recently discussed online. Dieting makes you erm, irritable at times. You get stressed out when your brother leaves a used plate by the sink. You feel like hurling something heavy at the person sat behind you in one of your seminars who chews on a cola cube like his life depends on it. And breathe. Just thinking about it is making me want some Pringles. I swear drinking these shakes can't be good for me. They don't taste like paper or make me want to dive into a bath of chocolate.
But there you go. Almost two weeks in and still going. I think I may have lost a little weight, either that or my lack of vitamins has altered my brain and I'm actually starting to hallucinate. (This is likely, I nearly screamed last night when I thought there was a spider sat quite comfortably on my shoulder; turns out it was a few strands of my hair).

I'm sorry. No one looks this happy about eating rabbit food. NO ONE.







When was the last time you went for a run along the beach with a big fat smile on your face? This is not what I look like at the gym.

one for one

"It ought to make us feel ashamed when we talk like we know what we're talking about when we talk about love"
- Raymond Carver

10 reasons to go to the gym.

1) Where else can you stroll into wearing your sweats, your boyfriend's t-shirt and very minimal make-up? (Ok no make-up but who has to know?) You can quite literally roll out of bed, puffy-eyed with hair somewhat resembling Bellatrix Lestrange's from Harry Potter, and no one will judge you.

2) You can time your arrival with the aqua-aerobics class going on in the pool and have a little giggle to yourself on your way in. A little legal high to make you feel better about the intense pain you're about to endure.

3) Britney Spears and Enrique Iglesias can sing their hearts out on your iPod and no one will laugh at you. Unless you forget that just because you can't hear yourself singing doesn't mean everyone else becomes deaf to your 'musical skills'. Not until after you've finished anyway.

4) That hot guy you've told your friends about? Yeah, they don't have to know he's in his sixties and smells a bit like cabbage. Let them think hottie actually exists! What they don't know can't hurt them.

5) The mats are pretty comfortable, in a weird kind of way. Draw eyes on your eyelids and no one will ever know you're asleep.

6) Oh haiiii muscles! Well, fat that's not quite as bad as it was before. Sort of.

7) Those Skechers you 'invested' in years ago? Well at least they've seen daylight now. Just remember to match your socks, people stare you know.

8) You get to spend loads of money in Pineapple, because hey you're going to wear it AND you look like a professional dancer. If only Louie Spence could see you now. You'd land a part in Pineapple Dance Studios in two minutes. It's got to be the hair band you threw at the sales assistant at the last second.

9) Burning enough calories means the deluxe chocolate cake and/or Ben & Jerry's you consumed last night NEVER HAPPENED.

10) Don't feel bad that you get a stitch after about four or five minutes walking on flat ground. The guy next to you who seems to run uphill at about 80mph is actually running on batteries, like that stupid rabbit you see in the Duracell adverts.